Wishing for What's Not

Unfortunately, it's a habit I have. 

I dream of some great plan and begin to live in that (the dream version anyway) instead of the reality I'm currently in. That makes me unhappy with where I'm at because the dream always looks better. I know it's not always better. Sometimes I get there and immediately wonder what I was thinking and start wishing for the old again. The old that I missed out on because I was dreaming of the next. 

It becomes a real mess. Always wishing for what's not. 

Sometimes I get my way, my wish. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I wonder what would have become of me if all of my dreams came true. I guess the fact is that they can't all come true because some of the dreams would get in the way of others. I wanted to be a pilot, but I also wanted to get married. I got married. Maybe some day way out in the future I'll actually be a pilot, but right now I'm living two of my biggest dreams yet, with no regrets. 

My two big dreams? Wife and mom. 

Man! Orange juice is good. 

The Jelly Bean Jar

It's hard to describe this jar because it isn't a normal jar. It's kind of like vase or a bottle. Jelly bean bottle, I guess. 

It is made of clear glass. It's short, shorter than the length of my hand. The bottom is round, about the size of a tennis ball. Then it narrows into a little neck with a spout. A little handle attaches from the tennis ball to the neck, and a cork stops the contents from coming out. Although, in the case of the jelly beans, they don't come out without a little shaking anyway. 

There aren't very many jelly beans in there because tennis balls aren't very big. 

I like tennis OK. It's not my favorite sport, but it can be fun. 

I do like jelly beans, a lot. They are so good. The black licorice ones are my favorite. 

This is an old picture of jelly beans from a time when I lived far away. 

A Little Bored

Right now I'm a little bored. I do a little of this, then a little of that, then pop another jelly bean in mouth, etc. 

The birds are singing. The house is quiet. We should have already left for church. There should have already been a lot of movement and laughter and food. But not today. 

The house is quiet. 

I used to be able to think of cool things to say. Lately, my head seems empty. Maybe I've let it become empty. Maybe I've stopped filling it back up, with good things. Maybe I've become dull and lazy. There is still hope. I can still struggle to find words to write. But are they words worth anything?

Thoughts from boredom. 

Kisses

 

Oh, dude! How much I love you!!

Kisses and smooches, 

 

Your old bride

💗

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How?

 

Sometimes I wonder how I got such a stud of a man. 

Who is That?

So Lovely

The air is full of spring, but my nose is full of stuff that makes it hard for me to breathe.

The birds are singing, but my throat is coughin' up a storm. 

The sun is shining, but my face is burning with fever. 

Oh, well. 'Tis life, I suppose. 

Hey, There!

Hey, girl! You got my attention, what with all that dancin'.

What can I do for you?

Eesh!

 Oh, my! That wind is so hard and so cold, it makes me want to curse. 

How come the birds just keep singing?

Trucker's Woman Poem

Back when you were gone.

You know I'm happy in these woods,

But I wish I was there,

And if I was with you anytime,

I would go anywhere.

Under the Arizona skies

We'd stare at the stars,

And up in that big truck,

We'd be higher than the cars. 

Sometimes I walk alone in the woods

Wishin' you were here,

But wherever you are along those roads,

I'm thinkin' of you, dear.