Not All There Yet

Sometimes it dawns on me that I'm not all there yet. 

I'm almost 24 years old, and I still live at home. I don't have really anything figured out. 

Sometimes I wonder why this is. Why some people seem to have their life figured out by 18. What's so different about me?

All I really know how to say is I simply don't know. 

Maybe it has in part to do with the fact that my teenage years seemed to be consumed with taking care of everyone else. I didn't have the time to plan what I was going to do with my own life. I dreamed a lot, but I didn't plan. I was too busy. Too busy trying to keep the family from falling apart. Too busy with trying to keep people from killing each other. Too busy trying save one person from the wrath of another person. 

It was tiring. Emotionally exhausting. But I was too busy to even know that. 

I don't want to make excuses for my current problems, more just me trying to figure out what's up. What's going on inside my head? 

All I know is I ain't all there yet. 

And one day I shall be. I'll be home, which is where I long to be.

But in the mean time, I'll just keep trying to figure this thing out. Life.