Seems Like a Waste

Or, "This sure was a bad time to come to Minneapolis."

"What 'great' timing."

So....umm....why are you here again?"

"Wait, you're leaving already? Didn't you just get here?"


Yeah, that's pretty much been my life for the last 3 and 1/2 months. People are always questioning my motives, questioning my life, and probably questioning my sanity. I get it. I'm not your typical college-age person. The most recent comment I got was that my way of life is "chaotic." I'm OK with people saying these things because it's kind of true. But, I'm just gonna say it: it stings a bit.

I'll say this, too, though: I question my own life. I'm a little confused sometimes. I hardly know why I do what I do. Sometimes the least I can do is put one leg in front of the other and "do the next thing." Actually, I feel like I might be more confused about my choices than those around me.

I often try to give a somewhat logical answer to their questions. I try because I know that's what they want. Maybe it's what I want, too. But in the end, I don't usually have a logical answer. I mean, yes, I come up with reasons and desires in order to help them see things a little better, but in the end my life ain't all that logical.

Before I moved back to Minnesota for the third time, I questioned a lot. Why was I going? I actually didn't really want to go, especially as the time to leave drew closer. But....

I believed that GOD wanted me here.

I still believe it.

I believe God wanted me here at this time. That's what people keep saying, that this was a terrible time to come. I kind of laugh it off and go along with the joke or just don't really reply. The truth is that this was not a terrible time to be here. Pandemic, no church, little social, George Floyd, protests, riots, fires, anger, hurt.

I was meant to be here through it all because I believe God called me here "for such a time as this."

I don't know all the reasons that God lead me here at this time and for this time, but I believe He did, and you might be confused, but children who listen will follow. No matter where He leads.

I suppose I have more to say, but right now I just wanted you to know that I might stop giving logical answers to why I do things.

Maybe the next time someone questions me, I'll say it was a mission trip. It wouldn't be a lie.

Oh, and one last thing, it hasn't been a waste.