Missing You

May, 2020...

It's just a dark figure, like a little cartoon, dripping black.

But, obviously, to me it means more because I made it for a reason and a purpose.

You see, I've been missing you.

Sometimes I forget how you really sound, how you talk, how you laugh, how you smile. 

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December, 2020...

Funny how time goes by and things change. I wrote these words because I missed you, but I was afraid to let the world see it because no one would understand. I told people I had absolutely no feelings for you. I couldn't like you. Never.

And time goes by. I re-read those words and smile. Yes, I did miss you. You had always bemoaned that fact that I was going to leave you, but then you left me. And, I was sad. 

But, I was still stubborn. Wouldn't like that boy if it meant death otherwise. It's strange though how much I missed you. 

I still miss you, and you still leave me. You'll leave me again soon. 

And sometimes, I still forget how you look, how you laugh, how you smile, how you sound. Sometimes I still only see the black silhouette. But I want to see you.

Please don't be gone too long, my dear.

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August, 2023...

Three years later, and I see you every day. I kiss your soft lips and hug you close. Sometimes I still fear you leaving me, but more than ever, I am so thankful I have you.

Now, you're no longer a black silhouette in my memory, you're the man that walks around the corner in the morning. I smile when I see you. I'm happy lying next to you at night, your warm back against mine.

What was just a friendship is now the best ever friendship, a friendship of a lifetime.

I love you, Jacob.