Maybe...

And, maybe I do tell

the security guard

at Aldi

"You have a good one"

Just so I can hear him say

"You have a better one."

Doughnuts

Some people actually have

LIVES

to ~live~

While some of us just have 

DOUGHNUTS 

to ~eat~

I Wonder About You

Picture from internet of a girl from Chad.

I wonder about you. 

Do you know He loves you?

Do you know He cares?

Do you know you need Him?

Do you know He's good?

I wonder about you.

What's it like to be you?

What do you eat for breakfast?

Where do you get your food?

Do you have a big family?

I wish I could hug you. 

I wish I could tell you.

I wish I could be there for you.

I wish I could walk your streets.

I wonder about you.

Exploding

I don't even know what to write. My head is so full. I feel like exploding, but I can't write. I don't know what to write. 

Lonely

I look back over my shoulder

one last time

to see you walk away,

lonely.







I could have tried harder. I always could. I could have smiled brighter. I could have asked how you were really doing. I could have hugged you. I could have listened closer.

But I guess I was too shy, too afraid, too nervous.

And now I only regret that I didn't try harder.

The Present is All We've Got

We say we wish for better days, but we're in them.
These are the best days because they're what we can experience now.
The past we can only remember,
The future we are clueless about,
But the present is ours to grasp
And experience
And enjoy now.

I'm gonna miss this place.

Little Boy

I love you

Confused

Can we all just agree on one thing?



No, I guess not.





They want us to all get along.





They want to fight against racism, but they don't care about dying children. They want to fight for blacks, but they forget about Chinese. They want to be able to breathe again, but they're suffocating babies to death with vacuums. They hate the slavery of their past, but they are fine with sex slavery. They want to demolish the police, but they will become the victims of their own abolishment.


Why, folks? What's going on? Why are we so messed up? Why are we OK with this?




"In those days there was no king of Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes."
~Judges 21:25

Stolen

*Note: This picture is not my own. I stole it off of Instagram. 

But, obviously, there are priorities. 

A Poem the Wrong Way

Before and After

Sun shines brighter after stormy gray

One minute it’s dark, next it’s bright

Shining through the atmosphere

Lining on every leaf, grass, and rock.

Running into you, makes you gasp and stop

Stunning, blinds your eyes, makes you blink

Bleak was painful, felt too dark and long

Weak you feel now as you walk again in light.

For there is reason for the helpless night

More to see when shines again the light 

So, keep on moving even in the hurt

Row on in rapids that tip your boat.

Keep feeling sun shine on you brighter still

Week after week grow in godliness each day

Feel the light grow warmer with the days

Heal the wounds and grow up in His love.

When You're Feeling Stressed?

Buttercup

Kiska

400

Over 400 miles walked this spring. Excuse the graffiti, please. I don't know what it says or means. 

Bee

Sweet

Gotta remember the good things in life.

Minneapolis

Trapped

So often I feel trapped.

Trapped inside of myself.
I want to say things. I want to share my thoughts, my feelings, my opinions, but I know I'll be shot down. I'm always shot down. I know how to only say certain things around certain people. I have learned that some times I just don't reply to something someone is saying just because I know they won't agree with me. I will be seen as a horrible person.

A snob, a racist, a radical, a right, conservative, southern, Trumper.

Just because I don't agree with or believe everything the news tells me, or everything the other Christians believe.

Some times I want to tell people things, but I stuff it inside and don't say anything. Maybe I'm scared, maybe I'm a coward. Maybe I'm wrong.

So, I cry alone in my bed. I weep in my heart, silently. No ones knows what I'm thinking, no one cares.

Except.

There is One who cares. He knows. So, I tell Him. And I listen.

I listen to this, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."~Psalm 46:10

Seems Like a Waste

Or, "This sure was a bad time to come to Minneapolis."

"What 'great' timing."

So....umm....why are you here again?"

"Wait, you're leaving already? Didn't you just get here?"


Yeah, that's pretty much been my life for the last 3 and 1/2 months. People are always questioning my motives, questioning my life, and probably questioning my sanity. I get it. I'm not your typical college-age person. The most recent comment I got was that my way of life is "chaotic." I'm OK with people saying these things because it's kind of true. But, I'm just gonna say it: it stings a bit.

I'll say this, too, though: I question my own life. I'm a little confused sometimes. I hardly know why I do what I do. Sometimes the least I can do is put one leg in front of the other and "do the next thing." Actually, I feel like I might be more confused about my choices than those around me.

I often try to give a somewhat logical answer to their questions. I try because I know that's what they want. Maybe it's what I want, too. But in the end, I don't usually have a logical answer. I mean, yes, I come up with reasons and desires in order to help them see things a little better, but in the end my life ain't all that logical.

Before I moved back to Minnesota for the third time, I questioned a lot. Why was I going? I actually didn't really want to go, especially as the time to leave drew closer. But....

I believed that GOD wanted me here.

I still believe it.

I believe God wanted me here at this time. That's what people keep saying, that this was a terrible time to come. I kind of laugh it off and go along with the joke or just don't really reply. The truth is that this was not a terrible time to be here. Pandemic, no church, little social, George Floyd, protests, riots, fires, anger, hurt.

I was meant to be here through it all because I believe God called me here "for such a time as this."

I don't know all the reasons that God lead me here at this time and for this time, but I believe He did, and you might be confused, but children who listen will follow. No matter where He leads.

I suppose I have more to say, but right now I just wanted you to know that I might stop giving logical answers to why I do things.

Maybe the next time someone questions me, I'll say it was a mission trip. It wouldn't be a lie.

Oh, and one last thing, it hasn't been a waste.