I have been learning some things lately. That is, in the last year, really.
I came to Minneapolis in 2017 to study at Bethlehem College and Seminary I struggled in my first semester. Struggled so much that I became bitter and depressed. Mainly bitter at people who didn't meet my desires. It was stupid, and it dragged me down. I became depressed to the point of being an absolute grump almost all of the time.
I tried to heal the wound during Christmas break, but when I came back to the cities, I realized it was still there. I didn't finish the semester, and I really only began to see the results of healing in the spring time.
God. He was the one who showed me my sin and pointed me back to the cross. Where I had thought someone else had sinned against me, He showed me I had sinned against the other.
So, when I made the decision last fall to try again and restart my spring semester, I had a worry that the same old problems would still be there. They were. But not as much. I could see through different eyes as it were. I came back resolutely pushing aside childish anger, and wanting to stand tall, smiling for the risen Savior.
So, it has been easier. I have seen progress. I still feel like a dumpster sometimes, I still feel miserable sometimes, but I have a resolve:
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
I came to Minneapolis in 2017 to study at Bethlehem College and Seminary I struggled in my first semester. Struggled so much that I became bitter and depressed. Mainly bitter at people who didn't meet my desires. It was stupid, and it dragged me down. I became depressed to the point of being an absolute grump almost all of the time.
I tried to heal the wound during Christmas break, but when I came back to the cities, I realized it was still there. I didn't finish the semester, and I really only began to see the results of healing in the spring time.
God. He was the one who showed me my sin and pointed me back to the cross. Where I had thought someone else had sinned against me, He showed me I had sinned against the other.
So, when I made the decision last fall to try again and restart my spring semester, I had a worry that the same old problems would still be there. They were. But not as much. I could see through different eyes as it were. I came back resolutely pushing aside childish anger, and wanting to stand tall, smiling for the risen Savior.
So, it has been easier. I have seen progress. I still feel like a dumpster sometimes, I still feel miserable sometimes, but I have a resolve:
Smile at people even when I hurt.
Now, with this new attitude, and it goes beyond just literally smiling but also just generally having a happier disposition, I have found it helps me. It's not just for those around me, it's for me almost more so. Yes, I want to please God, I want to be kind to those around me, and so on, but in the end, it really tends to make me a happier person.
So, that is where the color in my face comes in. I think when I have a bright complexion, I make others happy, and making others happy gives me so much joy.
Gray is not very happy. A gray, dull face doesn't brighten someone's day.
Color is cheerful. A colorful face, full of the rainbows of God's promises, can help someone regain strength.
I don't know if that's a colorful face or a scary face, but that's me.
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
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