Not All Days Are Dark

And I am so grateful for that because I don't know if I could go on if there weren't any breaks. 

Dark Hole

I'm gonna try to write a poem

I haven't written in awhile

Life is so dang hard right now

But to them I'm in denial

I play my top music right now

Over and over again in my head

You know what I did from the top

My dreams playing it in bed

Someone who can write better

The darkness I feel deep down

The words come to me all messy

As my heart melts in a frown

Left all alone in a deep dark hole

You wonder how I don't believe

Him in everything that comes

But pain is hard to receive

I scream in my heart and my head

I listen as the words form a song

Somewhere deep inside I know

That His arm is mighty and strong

But for now curtains close

Over my soul in a dark cloak

You can tell me to believe

But my heart sputters in a choke

So Tired

Life is so tired.

Last night was a deep, dark hell for me. I felt like God had abandoned me. I felt desperately alone. I could hardly function. 

My poor baby has been so sick, and last night was the worst night yet. 

Life has been exhausting lately. It never stops. It never lets up. 

I cry out to God for help and mercy. Sometimes all I get is silence. I feel desserted. 

I'm so tired.