It's Really Hard

Sometimes it is really hard being a mom, so I'm trying to remind myself to keep going and not give up when the going gets rough. 

Never Regret

What I love is being wrapped up in your arms. 

I will absolutely never regret saying "yes" 3 years ago. 

You're my lover for life, and it sure is a good life with you. 

Hard to Look

Sometimes it's hard to look at pictures of you. It's hard to face the reality that you're gone gone, never coming back. Never going to call again. Never going to text again. Never going to visit again. 

It's hard to look at your smiling face, but also hard to look at your lonesome, far off face. Sometimes it feels like you were a long dream that followed me around. Then suddenly the dream ended, and you vanished completely from my life. 

Were There Clues?

Sometimes I wonder if there were clues that you were in trouble. Were you hoping someone would figure it out? Were you just too proud to to admit the pickle you had gotten yourslef into? Were you just waiting for me to speak my mind? 

Jacob used to tell me that you would thank me later if I told you how I thought. Now there is no later. 

I just keep wondering if I should have known you were so close to the brink.