Bottles

 

Booz, wine, rum, whiskey, rum, juice?

Could be.

Fact is that I really like bottles. I will go into the woods just to find bottles: old bottles, cool bottles, clear bottles, brown bottles. Lots of bottles. I want a blue one. 

So Long Ago...

...And yet it seems like yesterday. 

A year goes by, and so much can change so fast. It seems so long and hard, and then the sun comes out again. 

A year ago when I was first facing the reality of what was happening inside of me. And, now, I am facing the reality of getting married. The wonders of a life about to change forever. 

I'm happy I met you. 

I don't care what you think of this picture. I think it's cool. 

Just Run

Sometimes things are so beautiful and life is so bright and full of blessings, I just run for it. Fling my hands into the sky and bolt down the road, smiling through the wind and wild flowers. 

Freakin' Out

Sometimes I really want to say something, but I feel sure I know how it will go. Or maybe not, but I still freak out thinking about saying it. Sometimes I end up just not saying anything. Sometimes I finally say it, and it goes about as badly as I thought or even worse. And, then sometimes I say it, and I am happily surprised.

Right now I'm just freakin' out and trying to figure out how to say it.

Fingers

Fingers pound on the piano, pulling music from the strings. Sometimes I mess up though, sometimes those fingers accidentally hit a wrong key at the wrong time. Some bad sounds happen. 

Fingers grab the cloth and scrub, and sometimes I scrub too hard and slam my finger against the corner of the dresser. I whelp in pain, at least in my head. 

Then, I'm typing and type too fast, too passionately, and I look up to see all sorts of things that aren't even words, so I have to fix things, and that is somethin'. 

Then I'm sittin' there feelin' the pain of words and sadness and my fingers move to find yours. And, then I am glad you have fingers, too.

Ah, Boy!

Ah, boy!

I wonder why sometimes. I wonder why me. Why I got the trouble, why I got the problems, the arguments, the pain, the disagreement, the struggles. But I guess, why not me? I guess maybe I deserve it. All those years thinking I was better. Better than them. I guess I probably still think that. 

There don't seem to be no end to struggling with that feeling that I am better. Better'n someone. 

But, I ain't, and I can't blame them for their sadness. 

Ah, boy, am I glad I got you though. I don't know how or why, but I got you, and it makes my heart sing. 

Thunder Boom

Thunder booms

Lightning strikes

Wind blows

Cloud falls

Rainbow shines

Flower grows

Tree buds

Sun glows

Wherever

Photo by Jacob

 

Wherever

you end up,

       I wanna

be there, too.

And whatever

we go through,

     I'll always

love you.

Photo by Dad

Your Command

 

I try to see through fog

I wonder, where's Your hand?

I try to see through mist

But it is Your command.

And I search though rainfall

I grapple through dark night

And I pear through teardrops

I wander without light. 

I reach into the dark

You grab me, by Your hand

I sob into the night

But by Your grace, I stand. 

California

 

Young and Cool

Wrath

Sometimes I fear a wrath I expect. Not even knowing that it will come, not waiting to see if it actually did, just expecting it. Fearing the expectation. 

I do everything in my power to not meet it, but what if it never comes anyway?

I am glad there is a sure wrath that I am sure I will never meet. 

Jesus met that wrath head-on for me. 

Happiness Can't Die

Sometimes I think if only such-and-such was no longer a problem or if certain things didn't bother me anymore, all would nice. But there would always be something else.

I guess it kinda hit me that maybe I base my happiness in how things go for me. If my hope is in the Lord than my happiness can't die. 

If my day goes awful, and I stub my toe and blow up, then maybe I'm basing too much on circumstances. These little things shouldn't change my attitude toward life. 

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." Prov. 31:25

Instead of worrying about things, maybe I should laugh more and remember that God has everything in His hands anyway. 

Grandma's Words

 "It is amazing the things that you find out about each other once you live under the same roof. 

That's where communication comes in-

he doesn't know what you don't tell him, 

and you don't know what he doesn't tell you-

Neither of you are mind readers."

Decided

 

I've made up my mind. 

No matter how much it drives me crazy.

No matter how much they try to bring me down. 

No matter how much I wish for this to be over.

I've decided to keep being happy.

In fact, I keep getting happier.

You

Because I go about my day

Doing my things

But my mind is far away

Flying on wings

And I'm thinking about you

Wishin' what's not

That I could be over there, too

Missin' you a lot

You, a dream on a cold night

Driving on wheels

Always hard on fast flight

Running on heels 

I could never tie you down

Wanting to hold

Your love of life can't drown

Warming what's cold

So, we'll run close together 

Falling so fast

We'll love in the nether

Loving that'll last

You, is all that I really want

Longing is strong

Me following you in the front

Ending this song.

Talking to Cats

Sometimes I talk to the cats. Well, actually, I usually talk to the cats. Pretty much anytime I see either one of them, I say something. Sometimes I ask them questions. They never seem to have the answer. Sometimes though, they come to me and cuddle up and ask me questions. I never have the answer, unless it's food, of course. 

They're good friends to have around. There have been a bunch of times when I was down, and one of them came up at just the moment and helped cheer me up. 

Not You Anymore

 

You were great and all. 

Really don't have any major complaints about you.

You worked hard, loved people, loved outside, cooked decently, etc. 

Honestly, you're kind of still there. 

But, not entirely. 

I'm not you anymore. 

Not the perfect little girl with my hair back in a bandana. 

Not wearing the skirts anymore. 

Believe it or not, I really don't dress up hardly ever any more. 

Also, you wouldn't believe who I'm marrying, and I'm sooooo happy about it. 

You wouldn't believe a lot of things. 

Maybe you're a bit shocked, but I understand. 

In the end, I'm glad for you because you're a part of me. 

But I'm glad I'm not you anymore. 

But, I am still me. 

Yep, that's me with my man. Are you horrified? Good. I like surprising even you sometimes. 

Ahead of Myself

 

Sometimes I get so excited about the next thing that I forget to stop and breathe and enjoy the present thing. 

They Can Judge

 

They can judge you

But I will always love you. 

Busy

Just one thing after the other. 

I go to TN. 

I go to work. 

I go to see my friend. 

I work again. 

And all in between, I go here and there and do this and that. 

Pretty busy. Have a hard time getting things done though. 

Unaware

Sometimes I wish I was less aware of my issues or problems or emotions or whatever dumb thing I'm trying to figure out about myself. I don't know, maybe I think too much about me. I guess that's what I've been thinking: I need to think more about God and His greatness and goodness and less about myself. 

When I look up into the millions of stars at night, I feel a lot less aware of me. I like that. I like when I become unaware of what's going on inside of me and more aware of what's going on out there in God's great world. I want to think more about God and less about myself. 

Poor Me

Man, life stinks. My job stinks. My health stinks. Everything around me seems to stink. 

But, that's just me complaining again. 

Today I was reminded that it really don't matter. My petty little problems are just little things that will pass away. 

"And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,

and all flesh shall see it together,

for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

Isaiah 40:5

Yep, that's what hit me. Just how big and powerful and glorious God is and how small we are. 

Picture by Dad