The Day that Didn't Shine

Tear drops slipped down face

First slow, then faster pace

Had she fallen out of grace?

Would she ever finish this race?

The sun was gone by clouds

She was far away from crowds

Holding nothing but her pen

She wrote a solemn hymn again.

The day that didn't shine

Didn't need Jonah's vine

Yet all was gone that's fine

All remained, a tear line.

Wondering all in tears

Her heart full of fears

How many more years?

She listened with her ears.

A song, quiet in the night

Fell from heaven's height

"My daughter, I hold each tear, 

I know every fear.

"I care for you more than they

You're in my heart each day

I won't forget you, dear

Rest in Me, don't fear."

Wiping tears from eyes

She peered into the skies

Nothing there but gray

A no-sun kind of day.

But she rose again from the dirt

She shook off all the sorrow and hurt

Then felt again the breeze in air

Felt again the wind in her hair.

The day that didn't shine was dark and sad

But the quiet voice had made her glad

Through sun and rain, she would know

The everlasting arms were always below.

All Alone

Tear drops splashed on the brown page

Curtains drawn on the black stage

Silence reigned in the dark room

Worker swept with an old broom

She sat there crying, all alone

Like an old forgotten dog bone

She had come again, hoping

But sat there again, moping

All alone in the corner chair

Not a friend anywhere

All alone in the darkened room

A cold, empty tomb

Finally, the old man stopped beside her

Slowly grew the light of hope inside her

As he looked down at her and smiled

As a father looks down at his own child.

"You're here again," he quietly said.

"Alone again." She bent her head.

"Yet, dear, Love will meet you anywhere

Not a man, but a Man who'll really care."

She walked away just as alone

Except in her eyes a brighter tone

A light that lit her way

The old man made her day.

She knew he was right

A soft breeze in the night

She believed His love was better

He the Savior, she the debtor.

And, she was never again the same

Though often alone, she knew Love's name

And lit the way for other lonely folk

With those same words the worker man spoke.

Picture by Gabriel

See Again

Cares and worries toss me

I look for light across the sea

Tumult and catastrophe

I look for a bit of sympathy.

But all I find is doom and dark

I listen up awake and hark

But all I hear is hounds' bark

Oh, to hear the song of a lark.

But morning comes anew

I feel closer again to You

Refreshed by winds that blew

Seeing again my grand view.

Death's Sting

I saw your face so pale and yellow

I looked into your empty, shallow face

And could not greet you with a "hello"

For you had finally finished your race.

I could not cry there by your side

For fear of breaking my stubborn pride

In front of all of them standing there

Even though my heart was in despair.

But all alone, I drown my bed in tears

I cry for you in my lonely fears

I look for you around each corner

I'm a little girl, a helpless mourner.

I wish you could come back

I wish my night wasn't so black

I wish I could hug you close

I've had a crying overdose.

I tell you that I love you

I wish I was there, too

I long for your jokes again

Why did cancer ever begin?

I walk into the woods all alone

Looking for a lonely place to cry

My heart torn and broken, I moan

Why did you have to go and die?

The Dreams I Have

Many

So many things I start and don't finish

So many dreams I carry with me always

So many things I wish to do

But life is short, and I run out of time

Fear

Fear still tends to try to stop me

At every corner and turn in the road

At every stop light where I have to make a choice

Left, right, or straight

Wild

Wildly running through life

Looking for the flowers in the mud

Seeing through the fog in the road

And dreaming past the rising of the sun

Tea

Black lemon tea is pretty good, especially with cream. I don't put sugar in my tea much any more. That is a random fact you didn't need to know. 

Sometimes I make weird decisions for weird reasons. I didn't stop putting sugar in my tea because I thought it was unhealthy. I like sugar. Believe me. I stopped putting sweetener in my tea because I thought one day I might not be able to use sugar as often. 

Yeah, it's weird. 

I guess one day I might not have any milk or cream to put in my tea either, but that is something I won't give up as readily if it's available to me. 

Oh, the tragedy of the day I don't get any tea at all. Sadness. 

But, it'd be worse to lose my hair. 

Now, a word about this mug before I go. That is not my mug. It was at Hannah's house back before she was married. I always used it when I went to her house. I told Mom about it, and she bought one for me. So, right now, I am drinking lemon tea out of the same mug in a very different place. 

Drink your tea. 

Peace out. 

☕

✌

Patient

 

Patient is not how I feel right now.

The wait is long, and I wish it was over. Sometimes I wonder just how long it will be because I don't know. 

Sometimes a wait has a limit, like "I'll see you in two weeks." Sometimes a wait is unknown like "I hope I see you again some day."

But life goes on. I still get up, walk, eat, clean, cook, go to work, watch the weather, go to church, write, read, crochet, and wonder about you. Wondering if you wonder about me. 

The days float by, then the weeks. Time moves, and I try to learn to be patient. I know the end result will be better if I learn. I know it stinks, and yet every moment that we're not together is not wasted. I try to remind myself of that. 

I guess I'm just trying to be patient. And in the end, I know I will be patient for as long as I need to be, even if it's not the most patient patience.

The Day Shine

Let the day shine on

Let the clouds roll out

Let the sun fall down

And the sky be bright

Photo by Dad

Take This Cup

Jesus didn't exactly want to take the cup. "If it be possible, let this cup pass from me."

If it be possible.

But it wasn't possible. That cup was God's way of providing life and salvation for His people. 

"Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will."

Nevertheless. 

He took it for God's sake and for our sake. That we could be restored to the Father. 

Not as I will.

I want my will, my way. But, alas, I cannot always have my way.

As you will. 

And, dear Father, Your will is always best. 

So, I guess, I'll just take this cup. 

The Little Kid

I'm the little kid who jumps in the puddles

I'm the little kid who blows all the bubbles

I'm the little kid who laughs at the sparkles

And...I'm the little kid who dumps on the sprinkles.

"Life is Hard"

That's how the pastor started his sermon on Sunday. 

Yep, he was right. 

Later he said, "Think about the closest relationship you have with someone and the best moments of that relationship. Jesus is better. Jesus is stronger. Jesus is closer."

I've been thinking about that a lot 'cause he sure was right about that. There are a lot of blessings God gives me. A lot of things I don't deserve. A lot of things I take for granted. I guess sometimes I even forget that God really is better than those things.

Life kind of stinks at some points along the way, but I know that Jesus is with me. He's better than all He made.

"You won't give me something that gives me more pleasure than You." ~Caedmon's Call

Would I Run Again?

 

Not a flattering picture of me, but that was my life after my foot surgery. 

I used to lay there and wonder. I daydreamed about running again. 

Actually, I literally dreamed I was running. 

But my fear was that I would never run again. 

I could see myself limp-running, and it was a kind of sad to me. 

It was silly, I guess, but I seriously worried about it because I love to fly. My feet can really take me places. I guess I've been thinking about that time more recently, respecting the pain I went through and remembering again how amazing working feet really are. 

And, despite my fears, I did learn to run again. 

And play 

And romp

And walk

And skip

And fly again. 

Make You Wonder

 

Some pictures just make you wonder. 

Make you wonder just what it is. 

Is it a jail?

Are you looking down or across?

Or is it a window?

Are you looking up or over?

Why is it so dark?

It makes you wonder so many things.

But, all you can do is wonder 'cause you don't know. 

Hot Hands

My hands get hot when I rake in the cold. When I work hard, I feel accomplished. 

Washing the pots and pans in hot water also makes my hands hot. Making and cooking and cleaning makes me feel accomplished.

Sometimes I forget that. 

But today I remembered.